Sunday, September 18, 2011
Errrm?!
Why chiropodists make a squill.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Please contact my agent, he'll tell you we're perfeck parents wot would never put our child on the stage Mrs Worthington.
Labels: WTF
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Can we pass the hat around so the ABC can buy a better class of television camera?
Plotter Faulks keeps a seriously low profile.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
First the Poms lost the empire, then they lost their judgment. (Highly likely the silly buggers will give Gordon Brown the benefit of the doubt!?!?)
POP star Kylie Minogue is the most powerful celebrity in Britain, a study by a U.K. market research firm Millward Brown revealed Thursday.
"The 10 most powerful celebrities were Minogue, Cole, Beckham, TV presenters Ant and Dec, actress Joanna Lumley, radio and TV presenter Terry Wogan, celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, Clooney, actor Sean Connery and actress Helen Mirren."
Labels: Who gives a toss?, Who's kidding whom?, WTF
Friday, October 30, 2009
Colour me confused - VERY confused. Or is the terminology of law an ass?
If the perpetrator ASSAULTED her WITH her consent then there would be no charge?
Where and when is an assault (sexual or otherwise, aggravated or otherwise) ever carried out (other than within the cloistered milieu of BDSM clubs - but I never went to a British private school, am not related to a Mosley and never studied the arcane nether regions of law, so what would I know?) with consent?!
Labels: WTF
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
It would seem that Ticketmaster has been taken over by Myki.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Fatty Finn - dual citizen.
Victorian Upper House MP Bernie Finn to sue Crikey over report he doesn’t like Barack Obama because he is “black”
“These idiots have defamed me. They are saying because I don’t like Obama because of his colour and that is a monstrous lie,” he said.
Mr Finn said he didn’t agree with Mr Obama’s policies – and voted as such – but his political views were “never ever” about race or religion.
... and where did Bernie Blimp cast his vote?
On his Facebook
Really Bernie, you seem to have far, far too much time on your glands.
Labels: Giggleworthy., Some people are walking colonoscopies., Who gives a toss?, WTF
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I may not be a footy Einstein but ...
... I'll back my ability to read a score board against that of the Age's footy reporter, Adam Cooper or Blues' coach, Brett Ratten (though it could be he's been verballed by the Age's sub editor) any day.
Labels: WTF
Thursday, March 19, 2009
More bread and circuses.
Superstar golfer Tiger Woods will play at this year’s Australian Masters in Melbourne, in a coup that will cost Victorian taxpayers half of his $4.5 million appearance fee but is expected to reap millions more from tourists.
Premier John Brumby has confirmed the world’s number-one golfer will play in the four-day tournament at Kingston Heath, Cheltenham, in November, along with Australia’s top golfer Geoff Ogilvy.
He said the signing would boost tourism, create jobs and send images of Melbourne around the world through television coverage.
One of the images of Melbourne John no doubt will be pleased to show the world is that of the primary school which is only a couple of blocks away from where he lives.
The primary school attended by my granddaughter.
The primary school which as of the beginning of this year ceased to have a fully functioning library.
The school whose librarian but who been placed as a team teacher in a regular class because of lack of classrooms.
February 04, 2009
VICTORIA’S numeracy and literacy rates have worsened, despite $1.19 billion in Government investment over the past six years.
An Auditor-General’s report has found more signs of declining than improving performance in numeracy with literacy performance static.
The report, tabled in state parliament , looked at data collected by the Department of Education and Early Childhood Development (DEECD) and Victorian Curriculum and Assessment Authority (VCAA) between 1998 and 2007.
Yep, reckon everyone ought to be happy to see those many millions flowing in the direction of Tiger Woods and that great educator, Bernie Ecclestone. (Well, he taught me all I needed to know about the redistribution of other people's wealth.)
Labels: One of my grumpy old codger melting moments., WTF
Monday, March 09, 2009
She may not have Bette Davis' eyes, but she sure as hell has Michael Jackson's nose.
Rivers vents fury at Melbourne gig.
Comedian Joan Rivers caused a bigger stir than usual during a performance in Melbourne last night, delaying the show by 90 minutes amid a fiery dispute with her American promoter. Rivers strode on stage in front of a sell-out audience at Hamer Hall about half an hour after the expected 8pm start time last night, reportedly firing off a string of expletives about her promoter Levity Entertainment, and promising full refunds for the audience.
Labels: WTF
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave o'er the land of the free market and the home of the brave?
United States car makers have again been hit by plummeting sales as they make their second bid for a massive Government handout.
The top executives of America’s three biggest car makers failed last month to convince a sceptical US Congress to give them a $25 billion loan.
Now they are presenting new business plans to show that their companies could be viable with government help.
Labels: Who's kidding whom?, WTF
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Words may fail me some of the time, words even fail me quite a few times, but when it comes to some people, words ...
Sex-med company relaunches ‘bonk longer’ boards.
A company which was previously forced to censor its advertising campaign has launched new billboards, this time with the words “bonk longer”.
The Advanced Medical Institute (AMI) was asked to remove more than 100 of its billboards, after the Advertising Standards Bureau received a large number of complaints.
They advertised medication promising “longer laster ( ?!!) sex”.
CEO Jack Vaisman says the two new billboards on Sydney’s Paramatta Road are meant to be less offensive, but they will be removed if the AMI asks.
“In my opinion, it is much easier to explain the word ‘bonk’ in different meaning than the word sex,” he said. ( ?!!)
“The word sex you cannot avoid to tell exactly ‘What does it mean?’ But with the word ‘bonk’ you can choose something to say a different way.” ( ?!!)
We are assuming that English, or any other language known to man, is not the first language of CEO Jack Vaisman.
Fancy having “longer laster ” phone sex with Jack Vaisman? A chap who apparently can't walk, chew gum and put two words together at the same time.
Wouldn't bonk on it.
Labels: WTF
Friday, November 14, 2008
Some mothers do 'ave 'em! (Inga's mother shouldn't 'ave.)
After days of furious lobbying by supporters of the Assisted Reproductive Technology Bill, a second reading vote passed 20 to 18.
Opposing the bill, Liberal MP Inga Peulich said it would “open the floodgates” to IVF for people who are socially infertile. (!!??!!) That would have an impact on waiting lists for those who were “genuinely infertile”. (!!??!!)
Labels: WTF
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Why am I thinking 'beef jerky'?
" ... and looking good" !!!!
" ... and looking good"!!!!
Why am I thinking 'beef jerky'? Ah, this's why!
Labels: WTF
Monday, October 13, 2008
Steve, you're an ornament to the senate. (Just a mantlepiece below Barnaby Joyce.)
Fielding to support Budget bills in light of financial crisis
Family First Senator Steve Fielding says the turmoil on global financial markets means he will now be supporting two key Federal Government Budget bills.
Senator Fielding has previously voted with the Opposition to block the changes to the Medicare surcharge levy, and also opposed the higher tax on pre-mixed alcoholic drinks.
Labels: WTF
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Conundrum.
Why is there an inverse proportion between the RBA's official interest rate and my unofficial disinterest rate?
Unlike the banks, this is something of interest I am passing on in full.
A base point, but a point nonetheless.
I blame the Dalai Lama ... and Artie Fadden.
Labels: WTF
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Of course we're being totally open, entirely transparent and naming names - not. (And who gives a flying monkey's toss.).
Queen Elizabeth II’s elderly husband Prince Philip has been diagnosed with prostate cancer but is defying the disease and carrying on with engagements, London’s Evening Standard reports.
Buckingham Palace declined to comment on the report, which cited “medical sources” as saying the diagnosis was made in April.
“Medical matters are personal and private. We are not putting out a statement. The prince continues with his engagements as normal,” a royal spokeswoman said.
According to the newspaper, the 87-year-old was diagnosed with prostate cancer in April when he spent three nights at the private King Edward VII Hospital in London.
(Unreliable sources not connected with Buckingham Palace did indicate that Phil had been drinking with Alan Didak and Heath Shaw and had crashed the royal tumbrel into several innocent bystander vehicles.)
At the time, Buckingham Palace said he was treated for a chest infection.
But the Standard quoted a cancer specialist as saying, “It’s become an open secret within the medical community that Philip has prostate cancer”.
“If he’d had a serious chest infection that was so worrying it required hospitalisation, he wouldn’t have walked in and out of there smiling and been ‘sitting up in bed replying to letters’,” added the unnamed specialist.
On Wednesday the prince was in Cowes on the Isle of Wight for the annual sailing week, the royal spokeswoman said.
Labels: WTF
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Errr derrrr!
World Youth Day organiser Bishop Anthony Fisher has been criticised over the Church’s response to a case of sexual abuse by a Catholic priest in Melbourne.
“Happily, I think most of Australia was enjoying delighting in the beauty and goodness of these young people and the hope – the hope for us doing these sorts of things better in the future – as we saw last night, rather than, than dwelling crankily, as a few people are doing, on old wounds,” he said.
Seems to moi that the Catholic church (along with most other Christian religions) has based its whole raison d'etre on "dwelling on old wounds".
Labels: WTF
Monday, July 14, 2008
Populate or Pellish.
CARDINAL George Pell, speaking after the Pope’s Sydney arrival, has warned of a crisis if people don’t have faith in God and more children.
The leader of a church which doesn’t allow its nuns to marry (other than to Jeebus, who doesn't appear to doing much of the going forth and multiplying with your line and length tadpoles of late) and won’t have a bar (‘scuse me innuendo slang ) of married priests is asking the rest of the population to go forth, fifth, sixth, even to the power of divinity infinity, and multiply.
C’mon Pelly, put your reproductive organ where you mouth is!
(Oops, might have put that a bit better, as the bishop said to the actress.)
Labels: OMG. What an insight. Right out of left field., WTF
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